Superhero with No Cape


I have way too much to cover, so I’m going to have to run this thing on a stream of blabbering consciousness for a bit.

First thing is first. Everyone wants to know HOW I lost 50lbs in a year. Here is the short list:

1. Therapy.
2. Being hungry, a lot.
3. Change your lifestyle.

Totally simple, right?

Don’t worry, I’ll break it down post by post soon.

My life changed quite a bit this year.

1. Graduated with my Masters.
2. Got engaged.
3. Moved in with amazing fiance’.

Don’t worry, I’ll break it down post by post soon.

I think the best plan of action is to start where I am now, and work backwards.

Current status: Seeing an orthopedic specialist.

I thought that if I lost weight I would feel light as a feather, turn into a gazelle, become stronger and more fit. I assumed my superhero cape would be coming in the mail any day now. December 2014, I was running 25-30 miles a week. January 2015, I officially hit my 50lb weight loss mark. And then my back went to shit. There was no one specific instance, it just gradually came on like a festering painful reminder that I am in fact, not invincible. Don’t get me wrong, my knees and feet felt amazing.

The docs told me it’s very common to develop back pain after weight loss. Your gait changes, center of gravity changes, shit even my shoe size changed.

I’m kinda bullshit.

I lost all this weight and now my super powers consist of self-diagnosing exotic diseases I find on WebMD and competing with my Nana to see who can complain the most about their aches and pains.

Countless chiropractor visits, massage specialists, hot tub soaks, an inappropriate amount of ibuprofen, sleeping on the floor, ergonomic work chairs,  you name it I’ve tried it. I got some PT coming my way. Some more MRIs, etc. I’m terribly bored already talking about all of this.

I felt Dezolutions was getting a bit stale. Hence the hiatus. I was so overworked and exhausted (3 jobs and grad school, more on that later), that when I actually lost the weight I didn’t even feel like writing about it.

But now, with wedding planning in full swing – i’m doing what everyone about to get married loves to do.

Oh em gee, get in shape for wedding! *squeeeeeal*

(fart noise)

I have some health and aesthetic goals to reach. And the Future Hubs is joining in on the hot bod for the wedding action. If you guys think we’re disgusting now with all the shmoopiness, you just wait to see this pile of puppy and kitten love squishy grossness we’re gonna jam down your throat. With match’n workout outfits and cooking dinner together like we’re in a frig’n H&G photo shoot. It’s gonna be awful.

But from this point, I need to get this back thing under control.

And I gotta go find my cape.

Fat Acceptance vs. Body Acceptance

Body Stereotyping

Body Stereotyping


2014, the year of the Social Justice Squad. Everyone, and I mean everyone who has ever been offended for who they truly are, are fighting back. With awareness, new terminology, off limit words, viral campaigns, privilege checks. Race, gender equality, LGTBQAA, religion, political etc., you can’t open your mouth anymore without offending someone. It’s a delicate balance, made even more delicate with the guilt you have for your unjust thoughts, previous words and future actions. Maybe changing our dialogue will change our view about how people self-identify. We’ve gone on long enough saying whatever we want to say without realizing how offensive it is. Also, there is a small demographic of people who love to pick fights – This is an excellent way to take away the validation for a real change.

I identify myself as an active participant in the new wave of gender equality. As a conservative socio-economically balanced equality among the genders. We cannot ask to have the exact same dis/advantages across the board. But, I think we are on a fantastic track. The movements that precedes us have given us basic human rights such as the ability to vote and hold jobs outside of the kitchen. Then climbing onto just pay and paved a path to un-objectifying our bodies. And now there is still a need for a better social justice balance.

For example: Encouraging women at a young age for STEM industry jobs, having paid maternity AND paternity leave, women in sports (hello MMA, power lifting and roller derby!) and most importantly, to be treated neutrally in public (sans harassment) as well as the way women treat other women, which is often times pretty awful.

I’ve shared my stories of street harassment time and time again. The leering, the touching, the rubbing, the grinding, the cat calls, the public masturbation, the fat calls etc. This is a gender equality issue because this does not happen to men as nearly as often as it happens to women. And honestly, the first part of seeking change is raising awareness. I have had amazing men in my life question my stories and are just simply shocked at the frequency and intensity in which street harassment happens. Second part of this awareness, is when all the other women finally come forward and share their stories of harassment (by opening up the lines of communication, women are able to talk about it in a safe space).

When women like myself, are groped, fat called, leered at or any other invasion of personal space and respect, THIS is where I have an issue. A harasser would think twice about grabbing the bum of a man on the train, why is that? Are women considered less human than males, therefore we are not allowed the same level of respect for people to keep their hands to themselves? Are women feelings less meaningful when they’re called a ‘fat slut’ on their way to work?

Ok, getting slightly off topic.

Fat Acceptance vs. Body Acceptance

They are two very different band wagons here that often get lumped into together. Fat acceptance is loving your or others larger bodies, finding it sexy and appealing and loving your life and everything that comes with it. (simplified definition)

Body acceptance is loving your body, whatever the size/shape may be and loving the ever changing facets of it. The understanding that you may not be able to achieve a higher standard of hot body. Not letting Photoshop be the standard for impressionable women and young ladies everywhere. I tend to wain on  the latter.


Because bodies are bodies, man. I hate seeing supportive people of one group hating on another. Shaming skinny bodies, shaming tall bodies, shaming short bodies. Just, can we…can we just fucking stop? With all of this? Like…all of it.

Some of negative assumptions of these new fat acceptance movements is the backlash that are targeting men. Men cry out “but we’re not attracted to these body types!! You can’t make us love you!!!”

Noooo. I don’t think that’s what they’re trying to do. Kind of the opposite. Movement isn’t about changing YOUR lifestyle, it’s about accepting OURS. You go ahead and keep on love’n whatever floats your boat.

You know what, I’m gonna say it.

I’m gonna say the thing that so many women (and MEN) sometimes think about themselves. Sometimes, I just really fucking hate my body. Sometimes I know why, cause I just murdered some serious burgers, cupcakes and beer for the last month. Sometimes I hate that I can’t tan. Sometimes I hate how my hair is getting thin, hate how my knees look in shorts, hate my Grama arms. I hate how my body hurts when I dont want it to, hate how inflexible it’s becoming, I hate when my I eat something and out of nowhere it doesn’t agree with me. I hate that my boobs hurt all the time and how flat my feet are. And what’s worse, I hate it the most when I’m working on it the hardest…

Sometimes I hate it: When I’m running, when I’m doing Crossfit, when I’m bench pressing 100lbs, or after hours of taekwondo, when I’m giving it plenty of veggies and water, when I’m using sunblock, when I’m taking vitamins, when I’m at the doctors and he tells me my blood pressure and cholesterol are perfect. I hate when the vagina doctor has to stick stuff up my hoo-ha for check ups. I hate getting on that fucking scale. I hate looking at my lil chubby toes when I’m getting a pedicure.  I hate getting naked in front of people and most of all, I hate walking by anything with a reflection.

Sometimes my hate is valid, but most of the time I’m being just crazy insecure for no good reason. Sometimes, I super duper love my body and I think it’s awesome and strong and sexy. But we all have that dark scary part in our brain. The ever comfortable self-loathing part. And no one likes to admit that they totally shame themselves. Shaaaaame. For SHAAAAAME. Even when you’re working on a healthier body sometimes you’re even harder on yourself!


Because I have not accepted that this IS my body. And neither has anyone else.

How do I know that no one else has?

Because they think it belongs to them. They think they can grab that big round ass in front of them. They think they can stare at me and call me ‘tree trunk legs’ as I walk by. They think they’re allowed to tell me to ‘come sit on my face, bitch!’. They think they’re allowed to call me a ‘fat c*nt’ as I walk by because I don’t accept their advances. You know why I don’t run outside anymore? Because some asshole saw me running from the car and yelled ‘run fatty run!’. It sucks that this one comment messed with me so much it completely made me limit myself from… OUTSIDE. Some people think they can just touch and treat my body as public property.

They think I don’t already think the worst things about my own body.

They think that my body…..does not belong to me.

And neither do I.

Why do we need a Body Acceptance?

So I can look in the fucking mirror for ONCE and appreciate the hard work I put into it.

It does not matter how many nutritious meals I eat, how many pounds I lose, how tan I get, how pretty my nails are, how many hours I work out, how often I stretch to prevent injuries, how many miles I log for the week, how much anti-aging firming lotion I use, how many different types of vitamins I take, how many health check-ups I have, how often I get my hair cut. It does not matter how well you take care of your body. It means shit if at the end of the day you still can’t stand what you’re working with.

THAT is what this is all about. Recognizing that your body as your own, you are free to treat it however you want. You can be fat, skinny, lumpy, firm, muscular – whatever. I believe in the healthy treatment of your body is the quickest way to acceptance. Work on the internal securities, so when you get the external insults you have a strong foundation to stand on and let it roll on off your back.

It’s not about forcing anyone else to love your body type, or to love the methods of how you treat your body.

What this whole ‘acceptance’ thing is: For others to accept that they don’t have a say in it. AND for the people (PEOPLE, not just women) to understand there will always be assholes and sometimes you just gotta grow a thicker skin and take back the control.

A lot less public harassment, a little more thick skin and I think we’ll be in good shape.

Get it? See what I did there….


TL;DR: Fat Acceptance is different from Body Acceptance. Don’t let people treat your bodies like a piece of public property. Take care of it and love it. And people are dicks.



What it REALLY takes to Lose Weight



So last month I posted about how I totally messed up and gained 20lbs. Well 6 weeks later, I’m down 10lbs and going strong. And I’ve tried to follow other weight loss bloggy people. But a lot of them are on expensive food programs, weight loss center things (weight watchers). Count calories like maniacs. I just couldn’t seem to find someone that can just workout and eat right and then tell me how they did it…that didn’t involve dropping a ridiculous amount of money.

Well, I’m your girl. Healthy Living / Weight Loss blogger person that is telling you how I did it (or doing it), with no magic pills or powders, no sponsored diet center. Just you, some determination, and a whole lot of veggies and sweat.


1. Waking up and being at the gym by 6:30am most days

2. Walking to and from work (6 miles a day)

3. Yes, sometimes working out at night too. TKD, Hot yoga, Cross Fit or running. Work out EVERY DAY.

4. Weights!! You need WEIGHTS. Lift all the weights!!

5. Eating DIFFERENT foods. If you keep eating what you’ve always eaten, even in less portion, won’t change a whole lot. So I went from mini-egg quiches, cucumber slices as snacks, fauz chik’n burgers. To Spinach protein shakes, almond butter and bananas and zucchini noodles. Change it up!

6. Water, water, water

7. Food journal. To be clear, it wasn’t calorie counting, it was just keeping track of what I actually ate. You’d be surprised how many mini-snickers and pretzels sneak into your daily meals when you’re not paying attention.




8. Having a buddy to check in with. It helps to talk about healthy things with people that are trying to do the same thing. I am lucky enough to have a best friend AND a boyfriend who love doing all the healthy things.

9. Cut out alcohol…like, a lot.

10. Portions!!! My god. Portions. Half a cheese burger is enough. A full cheeseburger will give you food coma. Being able to get up and walk around after eating is this amazing feeling, that apparently is really big in Europe? Don’t eat to nap. Eat to get up and go do some shit.

11. Making sure I stick to my good habits over the weekend.

12. SLEEP!!

13. I gotta say, Pinterest hooked it up with new recipes to try each week. I’d cook at least one or two new things I’ve never made. Zucchini fritters, zoodles, lean turkey meatballs.

14. Forgiving yourself on a not so perfect day.

15. RESTING when my body was telling me to rest. Sometimes, I want go to bed at 6pm and sleep for 12 hours. You do YOU.

16. Yes, you may have to feel hungry more than once. DO NOT starve yourself. Eat when you want, just eat the right shit.

17. Self loathing. Uggh there are more days in the past 6 weeks than I care to think about where I just HATED myself for gaining 20 more pounds. Go ahead and mope. Get it out. But I promise you, the more you work out, for every healthy meal option you make, for every time you vow to set your alarm and get up and actually DO…you’re just a little bit closer to not hating everything. And there will STILL be disappointment when when you start losing weight. ‘Aww man, I only lost 2lbs!?’  Just stick to your plan, man! Dust yourself off and move forward. All day errr day! That’s why having a buddy is so important!

18. GO.GROCERY.SHOPPING. I cannot stress enough how much you really should make your own meals. That way you can see what goes into your food, try new flavors, control your portions for multiple meals, save a crap ton of money. This includes probably spending 3+ hours on Sunday to prep your meals for the week. If you have a busy schedule like me, having pre-packed healthy meals on the go is ideal.

19. Take before and after photos. I was discouraged because the scale did not budge for 4 weeks. But i took a photo on May 1st and again on June 1st and I can see a huge difference.

20. Make performance goals, not just number goals. I signed up for a Spartan Race, and Color Run. And want to train again for a taekwondo sparring competition, and I want to run under a 9 minute mile (and I DID!!). There is nothing like being able to push your body further than you were able to before. C’mon, RUNNING!?? Get outta here, kehd.



Accept that in order to lose weight/get healthy/be fit…you absolutely need to be selfish with your time (and energy). It involves a lifestyle change. Boozing it up 3 nights a week might not be be conducive to your new goals. Eating garbage because its your ‘cheat day’. Which turns into 4 ‘cheat days’ in a row. Turning down invites at night because you have to wake up super early to go running. Declining lunch dates because you’ve already packed your healthy meal. No one will lose the weight/get healthy/be fit for you. That is all you, yo.

I’m not saying you have to be a hermit, but just know you need to be out of your comfort zone 80% of the time. I still went out for Taco Tuesdays and beers! But I made sure I was up at 5:30am to go running. I still binged watched Netflix, but I made sure I made all my lunches for the week. I had cupcakes and frozen yogurts and cookies. But I made sure I walked to and from work. All about balance. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.



So, all I’m saying is you can do this too, boo. I have a great relationship, a job that requires a lot of dedication, grad school, a stupid cat face to take care of. Gotta make the time. Push through those mental blocks. Put in the hours.


Losing weight isn’t hard, it’s the dedication that sucks.  <3

I Stressed Myself Out for a Month and All I Got Was This Donkey Butt.

I worked every weekend this month in addition to my normal M-F.

Crap, I didn’t go grocery shopping this week. Hot pockets aaaand ok fine, a banana.  I don’t eat my feelings.

7am to 9pm. God damn I’m tired. Ice cream for dinner it is! I don’t eat my feelings.

Grad school finals, 4 papers and 2 presentations. Diet coke and pretzels, all day err day. I don’t eat my feelings.

I can’t make it to the gym today. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. Or next week. Or this month….and probably not next month.

Damn, when was the last time I cut my hair? The last time I got my nails done? The last time I bought a sports bra?

Taekwondo? The hell is that?

Gym at my lunch break? What’s a lunch break?

A very sad and unexpected death. Out of state funeral. Oh shit my finals. Twizzlers please. Tacos? Yes tacos too. I don’t eat my feelings. 

7am bus. 4pm. 9pm. 3am. 5:30am Alarm. 7am bus. 4pm. 9pm. 3am. 5:30am Alarm. 4 cups of coffee, no water. I don’t eat my feelings.

Yoga pants be get’n tight, yo. To the Pinterest Boards!! #fitspo #workout #motivation #fitness

I hate myself.  Pin. Pin. Pin. Pin. Pin. 

Damn, these dark circles are not messing around. Eat at my desk 24th day in a row. Red bull. 

Oh my god my back is killing me. I can’t sleep! Advil. Hot water bottle. Advil. Advil. Jameson. 

Oh my god my back is still killing me, no way I’m going to try working out. Advil. Hot water bottle. Advil. Advil. Jameson. Sleep on the floor.

Why are my bras not fitting?? Jameson. 

Jameson. Jameson.

Aww, remember when I used do artwork? I really miss that. Cadbury eggs. All of them.

Deep breath. The funeral. Eat anything that isn’t bolted down.

Shit, I haven’t gone grocery shopping in 3 weeks. 7/11 all day err day.

Shit my presentation!? Burritos.

Jesus christ, my 30 page papers. No sleep til Brooklyn.

Oh shit, my brother’s wedding. Coffee. Red bull. Advil. Jameson. Hot pockets.

I can’t stay up until 9pm.

I can’t stay up until 2:30pm.

I can’t sleep it’s 4am.

Work Saturday. Work Sunday. Work Saturday THEN Sunday. Free catering food. All of it.

Whoa. Who the f** is that in the mirror? Just take down the mirrors and cover them with blankets.

Pinterest just makes me hate myself. 2am and 50 half naked tan body pins later. 

Wake up covered in pretzel crumbs. I don’t eat my feelings.

Don’t look at any reflections. God damn it, Boston has too many reflective windows on my way to work.

Shit I haven’t gone grocery shopping in 5 weeks. Foodler. Ooh, free t-shirt. Am I on my period? Nope, you chubby yo. Eat 2 dozen cookies at work. Two….dozen.

Oh my god, look at all my friends on facebook checking in at the gym. 9pm, still at work.

Who IS that in the mirror? I…don’t even…Wash hands and run out. I need to talk to some pizza about this.

Finals are done! Students went home! No more weekends to work! No more papers to write! No more stress! I won!

I won….at what?

Put on some Radiohead and cry all the cries.


And this is what happens when you put your health on the back burner for too long. I’m back to being uncomfortable in my own skin. I haven’t felt like this since high school.  We have alllll done it. But this is by far the worst I’ve ignored my body/mind for years. For yeeears.

No yoga, no meal planning, no sleep, no cooking,  no nutrients, no TKD, no working out at all. I didn’t even take the stairs or walk or do anything that involved an ounce more energy than I had to use. Running on fumes was an understatement. I sat and ate garbage for over a month.

Am I shocked by the outcome? Nope.

I’m just shocked that I actually let it go on for that long.

It’s stress. I always assumed I didn’t eat my feelings, but I absolutely do. I fell off the wagon, and I saw that horse fly down so far in front of me like it was on fire. And I just shrugged and pulled a burrito outta my purse and ate it on the side of the road.

I wanted to share this story with you because it does in fact, happens to everyone! Including ‘health obsessed people’. Things get bigger than us sometimes. I was totally disconnected from my present. My body and my mind weren’t speaking to each other because the other one thought that the other was just straight trip’n.

Gain 5lbs. Sure, 10lbs ehh not awesome. But when I gain 20lbs…I messed up, big time.

Am I discouraged? Yep. You bet-yer-ass I am.

But…there’s this thing about getting older. You usually learn your lessons. And you use those lessons to give you the confidence that you can go ahead and get past this one too.

I’ll be fine. I just need a little TLC, blood, sweat & tears. Little more sleep, little less taco. And I got this.

No fancy gyms. No diet pills. No insane juice cleanse. No gluten free paleo atkins powder miracle cure. I just gotta make those healthy connections again. We know what’s up, we don’t give up because we don’t know how to do it. We give up because we don’t make it a priority. Now I don’t wanna hear any of your shit anymore, yah heard? I just set myself back 20lbs. If I can do this, you can do this.

Rome wasn’t built in a day…

…and neither was dat ass.

The Hunger Games

Not these kinds —->  .
Not these kinds

Not these kinds

les_miserables_ver11_xlg (Period piece, duhsies)
THESE kinds.


Eww eww gross, something completely natural that happens to billions of women every day. Grow up. Get out of here with your tampon hate’n attitude. Oh nooo, the place where the miracle of conception happens and where another human being grows….INSIDE another human being. Blerrrgh ugggh vaginas, bluggggh.
Everyone done? We all cool?

Anyway, this isn’t really about riding the red pony (ok, now THAT one was gross). It’s about how your weight, mood and eating habits change. I have been getting my lady friend for 18 blissful years and I have mastered the bi-polar roller coaster that are my hormones.

Lifetime Movies couldn’t write a better way to get your period for the first time like the way it played out for me.

I was 12, in my cheerleading uniform rooting on the guys for Pop Warner Football. I like, totally had a crush on this boy and I was like, so excited he was there. Mom was there, as were all my female cousins. Went to the bathroom with all my little girly cheerleader friends and they noticed some red something going down my leg. ‘OH MY GAWD! DEZ GOT HER PEEEEERIOD!’ I went to tell my Mom, and she was so excited for me, then proceeded to tell ALL my female cousins. Who have the loudest Irish whisper I’ve ever heard, and everyone in the bleachers knew within minutes, which spread like wildfire. And on the bus ride home, like my totally cute crush sat next to me and said ‘Hey, is it true you got your period?’ and laughed and laughed. And then I DIED. Then, I got gigantic boobs overnight. And it was the worst thing in the entire world. Thee end.

Food cravings and things didn’t really hit me until I was in my 20’s. And now, minimum 10lbs of water weight each month and gigantic-er boobs. I’m not really into sweets; I’m a salty snacker which makes the bloating even worse. But the one symptoms of PMS that makes me insane and is the hardest to get over is:
Bottomless Pit Day.

It’s usually the 4th or 5th day right before actual lady time begins. Where no matter how much I eat, no matter what I eat, when or where, I will still feel absolutely starving. I usually force myself to go straight home and straight to bed early just to avoid eating. Have you ever heard of a guy who has to force himself to go to sleep earlier because he’s too hungry to function like a normal human? “Soz, Bro. I can’t come out cause I gotta go to bed cause I’m so f***ing hungry!”

Normally, if I just go to bed by 9pm, I won’t stay up all night and just binge on everything. By 9pm, I’ve already done the damage. I guess the good thing about it, is it only happens ONE day during my cycle. But it’s enough to throw me off kilter.

But doesn’t that sound just a little insane?

WHY does this happen?

Well, a few reasons. After consulting with my nutritionist, OB/GYN and Googling like minded individuals… it comes down to a spike in hormones AND nutrients.

Duh, right?

This day of insatiable hunger is because progesterone is at its highest, which contributes to hunger levels. It’s not just a trick we play on our boyfriends so we can get away with housing a whole pizza. It’s science, bro. Look it up.

Second, lack of nutrients. I already know I’m iron-deficient. I rarely eat red meat and I rarely eat meat all together. I don’t get a lot of protein, I don’t eat a lot of carbs (bready carbs). Clearly, something is missing by the time I hit the Hunger-pocalyse. I’d eat an entire cow covered in bread by the time I’m in full swing.

Third, a woman’s body is burning more calories come ovulation time. But not much, on average only about 100 calories more per day, which does not justify those 4000lbs of cheese puffs I just housed.

Fourth, I’ve been working out like a maniac again. So I’ve been naturally hungrier without my hormones playing tricks on me.

So with all these factors, no wonder why I turn into a monster. DEZ SMAAAASH!

So my goal was to figure out how to combat my inevitable Bottomless Pit Day, with nutrients and mind games.

1. Water Water Water.
2. Spinach Smoothie for breakfast with protein and flax seed.
3. Taking photos of my healthy food (and not so healthy food) and SHOW it to everyone. I try to be motivational and inspirational, so holding myself accountable is very important.
4. Working OUT. An hour of kickboxing should do it!
5. I ate meat! (Chicken)

Here is what I ate today:


Water, grande pike with half and half, and spinach protein smoothie which consisted of: a bunch of frozen spinach (ran out of fresh), a lil OJ, whole foods chocolate protein powder, flax seed, water.



IMG_20140115_122307Clementine. Then I got way hungrier and ate a whole cucumber with non-fat ranch and a cheese stick.


IMG_20140115_134508Boloco just added new items to stuff your burrito with! So today I took out the rice and used quinoa instead! Buffalo chicken, celery, hot sauce and… KALE!!! My GOD was it delicious. And, their wraps are thinner (according to their email about healthier options). Normally, I eat half and save the other half for dinner. But again, I was in monster mode and I housed this entire thing.

Snack: ONE mini candy bar….


Ugggh. Ok fine… TWO mini candy cars.


As I was leaving work, I knew I was going to kickboxing and I was already starving (obvi). So I had this:

Pre-workout snack:


100 Calorie Fiber English Muffin with a tablespoon of reduced fat Jif Peanut Butter. Normally I eat this for breakfast and it works. But I know if I didn’t eat before working out, I would absolutely go home and pig out. See, you gotta PREP to avoid the rage binge.

After a great workout, I figured I would just have another glass of Spinach protein smoothie and I would be ok.

Post Work Out:


I was not. I was still starving. Notice how my walls are the same color as the smoothie… not sure how I feel about that.

So I had to make lunch for tomorrow and I made a lil extra so I could eat a small dinner

Tomorrows Lunch /Mini dinner:


Shrimp sauteed with shallots, garlic and yellow peppers, lettuce and a 100 calorie tortilla wrap.

Now THAT did the trick. It’s 10pm right now, and I can honestly say I don’t feel the need to eat anymore. Nor will I. My cravings were to get Proscuitto Mac & Cheese from Scollay Square, donuts, 100 mini candies, cheetos, burger for dinner, mint chocolate ice cream, 8 glasses of wine and a block of cheese. All of which I had immediate access to.

It’s a matter of pre-planning. And not just for the days you know you’re gonna want to pig out, but devoting as much time into your meals throughout the week as you do to binge watching Netflix. Well, shit you dont even need that much time. I have two motivators for planning my meals. Number one, I know every single thing that I am eating and no mystery calories. Number two, I save HUNDREDS of dollars a month eating 95% of my meals from home. I know, I did the math. I can spent $200 a month on groceries and never have to buy a meal outside of my house.

I have beaten Bottomless Pit Day!!!!!

And you know what, it was really f***ing hard. It would’ve been so much easier to just eat what I wanted and dealt with the guilt later (because that’s how I’m wired). But I’m kind of tired of that crap. You keep doing what you always do, then you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.

New Years REVOLUTIONS. (Yes, Revolutions…)




Taking New Years Resolutions BACK. 

I’ll do a recap of 2013 later, a very powerful and growing year for me.

I need to talk about a few things that have been bothering me a bit.

Fat Shaming

Remember when these donkeys wrote about #fatshamingweek for women? The idea that harsh ridicule and public shaming to overweight WOMEN (not men) will help them lose weight and become hotties for their own good AND for the benefit of men to enjoy? I started to write a post about it, but decided against it. This topic was beat to death by angry women and internet trolls everywhere.  As an overweight girl AND someone who has been publicly fat shamed countless times, I just have to say something about it really quick.  Calling a woman fat is different than calling a man fat. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it still hurts.  Women have been “trained” to be judged on their aesthetics. It’s why beauty/cosmetics is a billion dollar industry. And no one judges women harder than other women… But this particular social media trend irked me. That calling someone fat, disgusting, unlovable, updateable etc., will make them change with a harsh dose of reality. Hey, guess what? There isn’t a fat person out there that doesn’t know they’re fat. It’s really not anyone else’s job force them into a healthy lifestyle and weight loss. Calling a fat person fat for one, makes you look like an insecure dick. Two, pointing out the obvious is unnecessary. Three, it will not… I repeat…will not make them lose weight/be healthy. No one wants to change solely based on that one website talking about how disgusting fat girls are. People who want to change and change successfully have discovered the benefits of dropping bad habits on their own terms.

But Being Fat is Bad for the Economy

Ok, shut up.

Not completely true. This argument makes me crazy. Being overweight DOES lead to more health complications which eat into healthcare costs “for everyone”.  Diabetes, pills, heart problems and even lead to people being unable to work and put on SSDI. But you know what is REALLY bad for the economy for health issues? Stress and Mental Illness (associated with stress). An obese person can cost up to $5400 for employers to insure. Stress related illnesses costs companies over $7200 per year!  Obesity is 20% of healthcare expenditures, while stress related costs are over 50% in America . You know what stresses people out the most? Being a dick. Worrying about other people’s issues like how fat THEY are. Anger issues. Control issues. Rage. Being caught up in an environment that isn’t good for you. FAT SHAMING.

Someone else being fat (or skinny) is really none of your f***ing business. It doesn’t raise your rent or prevent you from paying bills. It doesn’t prevent you from getting laid or finding a suitable life partner. It doesn’t prevent your kid from getting into college. It does not give you the right to disrespect different bodies, to their face, behind their backs or behind a keyboard. Relax.


Now, life’s daily annoyances about someone else being bigger are understandable. As a public transit person, when someone is taking up more than one seat it totally annoys me. But so does when a smaller person takes up more than on seat with 100 bags. Airplanes suck too. But it’s just that, an annoyance for you. Suck it up buttercup! Sorry you paid $500 for your plane ticket and you’re squished. I’ve been there, I get it. So what.  Especially living in a city, where people are around you at all times. You are not going to like everything people are saying, look like or doing. Get some thicker skin and realize you need to live your life around other people, forever and ever amen. Sure, get annoyed, get pissed off, think stupid thoughts in your head. But you still don’t have a moral obligation to right every person who has “wronged” you by an annoyance. Grow up.

Body Image

Another key point those dicks over at the website were trying to get across, is the body acceptance. Or “giving up and accepting it”. Teasing overweight women that it doesn’t matter how many Marilyn Monroe quote you use you’re never going to be attractive. Well, no. Probably not to THEM. Body acceptance is by no means to FORCE guys to like bigger women. Body love and body image is NOT FOR YOOOOOOU. NOT FOR GUYS (or GIRLS)! Stop being so egocentric, my GOD. You like what you like, no one is going to change that for you. If you like beards and tattoos, you’re not going to wake up one day and find them repulsive. No woman who loves herself is trying to convert you. Trust. Healthy body image is the acceptance to FINALLY let you love yourself. Tall, short, skinny, fat. It’s the approval you give yourself to let you be confident. Any insecure person finds confidence to be a threat. There will be haters. EVERYWHERE. You gotta be strong.

Now, the important message I want to convey:

Like a lot of people, I do not have sympathy for those who choose to live a life that is unhealthy for them and complain about it. Whatever it may be: Excessive drinking, being overweight, smoking, bad relationships etc. Watching someone who acknowledges what they’re doing is bad for them, refuses to change and STILL wants to complain about it? Not interested. I don’t want to hear about it.

I will however, listen to anyone who is making positive changes and is just having a really hard time. That is literally what my entire blog is about. Quitting smoking is HARD and it sucks! Trying to change your diet and working out every day suuuucks.  But you’re trying! You’re doing it. I’m here for you.

New Year’s Resolution Shaming

There has been an interesting amount of backlash about people who have New Year’s Resolutions pertaining to healthy living. Haters. Haters everywhere. Gym rats (hi!) who are pissed off at the swarm of Resolution people going to the gym and everything being so crowded. Yes, this painfully annoying too. But guess what; take this time to try something NEW. I know I’m not gonna get a treadmill at the tiny gym I’m at now. So, I’d like to go back to CrossFit and taekwondo. There was a huge rush before the new year as well, I could never get into my gym so I decided to try hot yoga again, and I LOVE IT. Safe to say I am addicted. Rather than being pissed off and just not going to the gym or being pissed off about it, I just found something new for a while. Or maybe focus your energy on learning to cook healthier meals. There is time and space for EVERYONE to change. I know you love lifting things and riding that elliptical to the moon, but use this opportunity to try something new for yourself.

Yes, the cliché is true, a lot of people will give up by March and you’ll have your gym back. Or you can just muscle your way through the crowds and suck it up.

BUT DON’T BE MAD FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO CHANGE. You were there once, remember? Shit on people for being fat and unhealthy, and then shit on people when they finally want to change and show up to do the job. Stop. Cut it out you big babies.

‘I hate when people use New Years as the time to start being healthy. You’re not serious about it, otherwise you would’ve started ages ago!’

Actually, the most successful time to make changes is as a New Year’s Resolution. Here is a video about the Science Behind New Year’s Resolutions! Spoiler: you’re 10 times more likely to be successful.

So EFF all those haters giving you a hard time for who you are, who you want to be and what you’re not.

Change isn’t about letting yourself deserve a better you. I’m sorry, but the truth is a lot of people don’t want you to change. They’re comfortable in whatever role they’ve put you in for their life. If you’re the chubby funny friend, it’s going to be hard to them to accept you as the fit marathon runner. If you’re their partying friend who loves to get wastey-pants, they aren’t going to like that you’re not going out as much.

THIS is the hardest part about changing. Not only is it REALLY hard to get started, even harder to stick with it, but most of the time, even your family and closest friends…don’t want you to change. Because it means they have to, also.

Be strong. Be Brave. And get your ass to the finish line.

I don’t post enough

I’m just on Facebook and the Twitters a lot. I say a lot of weird stuff, just so you know.  You should probably go over there and love me too.

So you know I’m not dead, I’m gonna post some of my favorite current songs.











Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 47 other followers

%d bloggers like this: