Dezolutions

May 2013
M	T	W	T	F	S	S
« Apr
	1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31

Juice Cleanses Don’t Make Sense in My Brain

Posted on May 6, 2013 by dezolutions

Now, I’m sure there are a lot of you who have tried juice cleanses. Some will defend them until the end. Some want to try them, some are doing them right now.

Do whatever you want. It’s your body.

But for me, it doesn’t make sense to buy hundreds of dollars of juice for 3 days to do something your body was made to do naturally. Sure we all may have less than perfect functioning organs, or we lack certain nutrients. But that is what food is for. As a human, digesting solid food is a fantastic way to…. oh I don’t know….stay alive?

Some scientific studies have already proven, juicing does not contribute to weight loss. It does, however make you drop water weight and decrease bloating. That is until you eat solid food again.

Juice diets do prevent your body from going into a state called ketosis, he says. Ketosis means your body has no carbohydrates to burn for energy, so it has to burn stored fat or whatever else is available, he tells WebMD. “You feel bad, even smell bad. That’s what makes you feel like hell during a [water-only] fast. But is that because the toxins are coming out? No! You’re going into ketosis. It’s known physiology.

A lot of the claim is to ‘detox’ your body. That while your body can rid of most toxins naturally, the excess gets stored in fat. The claim is while the fat is mobilized, anything that is fat-soluble should be mobilized, too.

Our bodies naturally detoxify every day. Detoxification is a normal body process of eliminating or neutralizing toxins through the colon, liver, kidneys, lungs, lymph glands, and skin. Just as our hearts beat nonstop and our lungs breathe continuously, so our metabolic processes continuously dispose of accumulated toxic matter. [ Linda Page, ND, PhD, a naturopathic doctor, lecturer, and author of the book Detoxification]

Ok, science stuff is over. But there is more evidence that juicing is NOT the way to go.

Let’s talk about the ever popular Master Cleanse, which is different than juicing, but sounds just awful.

2 tablespoons fresh-squeezed lemon juice
2 tablespoons grade-B organic maple syrup
1/10 teaspoon cayenne pepper
10 ounces filtered water

To me, that doesn’t sound like it’s going to give me the energy I need to kick some ass in taekwondo. Nor is that sustainable amount of energy. Now juice cleansing should not be confused with protein shakes/drinks. Which I wholeheartedly support. I put full veggies and fruits in a blender, add some soy milk or greek yogurt and flax seed, put in some organic protein something powder or whatever it is. And drink that shit for breakfast or before I work out. OR right after a late night workout

But, I do eat food throughout the day. Real food. That was alive once…and now it’s dead and I’m gonna eat it (although, meat has not been in my diet recently, but that’s another post).

Big problem for me is I hate eating breakfast, or anything for that matter before 1pm. So one way for me to make sure I’m getting some sort of nutrients are these protein spinach thingies. Also, another bad habit I have is when I get home from training around 11pm and I am starving and want to eat all the things.

The real message is: There is NO easy fix to losing weight and being healthy. No.Easy.Fix. It is legit, straight up hard work where you eat a bunch of veggies and shit, run, sweat, kick, punch, bike real real fast until you feel like you’re gonna die. And you do that like….every day. Go to the doctors, get your insides checked. Gotta take some supplements? Sure, why not (just make sure pills aren’t your meals).

Let me just help you figure out some more shit:

This magical powder will make you eat less! – Nope. What is this Narnia? Eat some fugg’n broccoli.

Only 30 sit ups a week will give me flat abs. – Nope. Unless you’re one of those bitches I hate who only have to breathe to get a 6 pack.

Only eating 600 calories a day, I’ll lose weight SO fast! – Yes, yes you will. And then you will die.

My friend told me she lost 10lbs when she did a juice cleanse. – That’s great. Ask her how long that fantasy lasted.

These new shoes helps me sculpt my buns! – No, making sure you don’t fall down in those shoes helped you sculpt your buns. Also, squats…do them. Like 300 a day.

Master Cleanse helped Beyonce lose all that baby weight. – No, Beyonce having a surrogate carry her baby helped her lose all that baby weight.

Feel free to start a discussion. Based on experience or opinions or what have you. Loved to hear it, just don’t be a dick. <3

Filed under: Baby Steps to Healthy Living, Motivation | Tagged: beyonce, dieting, juice cleanse, losing weight, master cleanse, weight loss | Leave a Comment »

This is Mine.

Posted on April 14, 2013 by dezolutions

Journeys. Paths of self-discovery. Adventures.

We all go on one. Or two. Or 1000.

This is mine.

You can document it in all forms. Or not at all. Maybe by blog, photos, journaling, spoken word etc. Or maybe you just take the memories with you and have it fuel the rest of your experience.

I think before turning 30 is a good time to reflect and move forward, for me at least. Not to get all Eat, Pray, Love on you, but when you get the chance to start over – take it. It’s probably there for a reason.

I’ve said goodbye to many things this year. I’ve let go of anger, pride and resentment. I was too busy pointing fingers about things ‘ruining my life’.

Well, good.

That life is over. Thank you for helping me start a new one.

The beauty of being older, more experienced and wiser when creating a new life, is the ability to make decisions that are well-informed & well fitting. It lacks remorse, guilt or any other negative emotion that would normally alter your choice. No parents to impress, no boyfriend or husband to keep in mind, no friends to keep happy. It is all you. You finally know how to make you happy and holy shit, does it feels fantastic.

Having a good support system is vital, but not mandatory. I am lucky I have one. I am also lucky I am strong-willed and confident in my choices as an individual. That is not saying I can’t make mistakes. It’s simply stating if I land on my ass, it is a much faster recovery time.

Throwing myself back in TKD has been exactly what I needed. Back to assisting, back to training, back to being a member of the community again. Grad school is winding down and is the most prevalent source of stress. Finals are looming. Taking physical inventory of what I own and throwing/donating a lot of it, does wonders. Actively losing weight and getting into real shape has been a blessing. I don’t know when it clicked, but it did and I’m letting go of all the ‘I can’ts’.

Lastly, I will leave you with some music that inspired this post. Go download M83′s album ‘Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming‘ . Immediately.

Filed under: Do Something Scary, Motivation, Surprise Myself | Leave a Comment »

21 Funk St.

Posted on March 13, 2013 by dezolutions

A few months ago, I was riding my bike every day, working out at TKD for 2-3 hours per night 2-3 times a week and basically eating whatever I wanted.

Now, it’s been a couple weeks with the boot, no TKD, no cardio and sporadic weight lifting & core exercises. Oh, and I also have been eating like crap. Needless to say, pants are tight. It’s just sheer laziness. I’m tired all the time, I hate trekking to the super market in this boot let alone after a long day of work and school. When I’m not studying I’m sleeping and aint no one got time for healthy stuff. I just love burritos. Ok? I just love them.

My routine has been: Breakfast is usually nothing or greek yogurt. Lunch is usually a burrito or shrimp tacos. Dinner is usually pasta. These aren’t totally awful, but when mixed with bare minimum exercise and very stressful lifestyle mixed with a lot of coffee, beer and martini’s, it tends to show up faster on your waistline than when you were 21.

So I just gotta get my ass in gear, and that is what I did. I took my wobbly ass to the super market in the pouring rain with my little grama cart and stocked up on fruits and veggie. I’m a smart girl, I’ve been doing this ‘healthy’ thing for awhile now. I know what I gotta do. It’s just about getting into a routine. Why do I feel like it’s so much harder to get into a routine as I get older?

One, probably because as we get older, we’ve had to adjust our schedules so many times to see what feels right. Once we get into it something that feels good (whether or not its good for us) it’s hard to change.

Two, there are more important things in our lives that are not as flexible time wise as they were in our early 20′s. Such as, a job, grad school or caring for a living thing (baby, pet or other).

Three, we still think we can get away with the things we did when we were younger. Like weekend benders. I remember partying the night away until the wee hours of the morning and head straight into work with a big cup of coffee like I got a full nights rest. Now, a few cocktails on an empty stomach will leave me in bed for the entire weekend.

Four, I’m stubborn as shit.

So once I put my big girl pants on and took the extra steps I needed, I already feel a lot better. I’ve been in quite a funk lately. For a couple months. Could be the winter blues, could be stress, could be lots of things. But most days I would prefer to go straight home and crawl under my blankies and sleep until morning. Which is kind of what I’ve been doing. I’m not one to be a hermit, I am a social butterfly! I need social interactions otherwise I might die. But I’ve been a hermit… so clearly, I’m dying.

And now, this is my official attempt to jump out of this funk.

#1. Call Mommy. She makes everything better. (Done!)

#2. Eat breakfast. I decided to go with making protein shakes again. Baby spinach, almond milk, orange juice, flax seed, raw organic cocoa powder. I don’t get hungry until the afternoon and I know I have to eat before that. This means waking up even earlier.

#3. Keep my room/house clean. For some reason, if my bedroom is messy, I can’t relax.

#4. Stop listening to depressing music. Which is really hard for me, because I love Patsy Cline and Johnny Cash.

#5. Less pasta, more veggies.

#6. Plenty of sleep.

#7. Exercise. Just do something while I’m in this boot.

So today’s meal overhaul:

Breakfast: Green Monster shake
Snack: Broccoli and red peppers
Lunch: Lean cuisine
Snack: Strawberries and cheese stick
Dinner: Chik’n sandwich and roasted chic peas.

Here goes nuth’n!

Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: aging, blues, funk, getting out of a funk | 4 Comments »

It’s Not If, It’s When

Posted on March 9, 2013 by dezolutions

You play a sport hard enough and long enough, you’re going to get injured. It’s not if you get injured, it’s when you get injured. I’ve been in TKD for 2 and a half years and I have been to the ER or doctors averaging about once every 4 months. Here have been some of my favorites:

This is my newest adventure. Turf toe. Most TKDers have certainly experienced this. As have many pro-football players, soccer players and runners. Seems like a pansy-ass injury, but I can assure you, it’s ruining my life. Between the snow/slush/rain mixture, most days are spent pouting at my desk with a freezing cold soggy boot. Not to mention, it’s quite the conversation piece. Every stranger wants to know how I wound up with a boot. My favorite answer so far is ‘I broke my foot from sticking it up the ass of the last person who didn’t mind their business’. I don’t make too many friends with that one, though. It’s been two weeks and although it’s feeling a lot better since I’ve gotten it, the boot is an enormous pain in the ass.

I walk, everywhere. I mean, everywhere. And if I can’t walk it, I usually bike it. Now I can’t do either. Nor can I do taekwondo. Or dance properly. You ever try twerk’n in a boot? Dat shit aint cute.

2 more weeks. So right now I’ve taken to arm, abs and core. Weights, weighted ball, yoga mats, bands. I gave up after 9 photo attempts. Scrappy is just super into yoga mats. I don’t get it, but it’s her thing.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I absolutely hate weights and arm/ab workouts. I know I gotta do them, but If I can avoid it, I will. I can’t explain it, I just hate it.

1362887553202

So that’s where I’m at. Hating the boot, hating planking and push ups but, trying to take more lessons from Scrappy. Just enjoy what you got lying around and take a nap in whatever box you fit in to.

Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: injury, taekwondo, turf toe, walking boot | Leave a Comment »

Unplugged

Posted on February 21, 2013 by dezolutions

When you hear someone say “Oh, I’m not on Facebook”, what follows is usually the look of utter confusion. It’s like telling me you don’t have a cell phone or that you’re still a virgin. It just doesn’t make sense in my brain.

Since I’ve gotten my smart phone (this year) I know I have been addicted to it. I check it constantly, I update Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest. I google everything. I became the annoying person that I loathe so much. The one who is nose down, ignoring friends at dinner, walking into people on the sidewalk, getting up to check notifications in the middle of the night.

For the record… I am not that important. People will not die if I don’t post that hilarious photo of a cat dressed as a pirate. Cities will not fall if I don’t respond to that Facebook message immediately.

But why do we do it? Why must we be attached to these expensive little gadgets that consume every spare moment we have. There is no doubt that Facebook doesn’t have it’s benefits:

- Some people make a living off of it.

- As a blogger it is very helpful.

- As the Marketing Director of my taekwondo club, I need to use social media fairly often.

- Facebook makes planning events for large crowds SO easy.

- Passing the time on the train.

- Keep in touch with long distance friends and family.

You’ve probably read hundreds of articles about technology addiction. I was aware of it and I swore if I became annoying to friends or family or became so reliant on it, I would pump the breaks.

And guess what, I’m annoying. Definitely to my friends, probably my family, but mostly… I annoy the shit out of myself. I blame it mostly on being so late to the game on getting a smart phone. The newness of having a device that I can be in constant contact and have endless access to information is so appealing. While people were hopped up on wifi and instagram years ago, I JUST turned in my dinosaur flip phone and got a smart phone a few months ago. The newness is still very much there. But the curve is off. So while my friends have learned smart phone etiquette and no longer are excited about their brand new toy, I am smack dab in the middle of bragging to my friends “Hey did you guys know that my camera phone has FILTERS??”

So if I looked at what I actually did on Facebook, it was mostly just post photos of my cat being adorable, posting selfies, youtube music videos, liking my the same 20 peoples stuff over and over and brainlessly scrolling through stuff I am not connected to. I could waste hours on Facebook, to do absolutely nothing.

The Change

A few months ago, I decided to install the StayFocusd extension on my work computer. And I blocked it all. Every time consuming website I went to, I blocked it. Reddit, Buzzfeed, 9gag, all of tumblr, twitter, pinterest, Facebook. I never had a problem getting my work done, but now it’s like I have super powers.

Then I put my phone in my purse in my cabinet on the other side of my desk. So I don’t check it every 5 minutes OR use it to go on FB.

So far so good. Until I realized people actually do need to reach me in the middle of the day. Like my parents, or my sick Nana, or a locked out roommates or taekwon-emergencies. So I started keeping my phone closer to me. The it turned back into slowly creeping back to check notifications and reading funny stories. I’ve found a good balance. It is mostly out of arms reach, but I try to check my texts if possible and just STAY off the web.

Then I got a phone call from my Nana asking if I was pregnant. I am not. But someone from ‘the facebook’ told her they saw it on my wall. Inaccurate. Then I get to see people posting rude things about me on other walls. Then I get phone calls, emails or texts about why I didn’t like something on someone else’s wall. I also strongly dislike being ‘tagged’ in place. I do it myself here and there, if they’re big events. It makes me uneasy that people can know where I am at all times. This intangible life of photos, words, coding and “friends”, has an awful big impact on my tangible life.

So why devoting so much time to this website community that I’m not really into? Welp, I haven’t figured that out yet. Addiction maybe? Habit?

Today is Day 3, and I have been Facebook free.

It’s already caused conflict and confusion for friends in term of planning events. I had to send out a mass text to my family to let them know I’m not dead, but I’m just deactivating facebook. I made that mistake the first time and an Amber Alert went out (joke). The first time I went ‘off line’, I was just depressed and wanted nothing to do with anyone. This time is different. I want MORE to do with friends and family.

Part of me feels like I forgot to do something. It’s part of my morning and night routine. So before I leave the house it feels like I left the coffee pot on. And when I go to bed it feels like I forgot to pay a bill. This is not good. But the upside is more phone conversations, more actual plans made instead of ‘lets get drinks one day!”. And I have seriously done a lot.

But if a tree falls in the forest, and you don’t post about it on Facebook…does it actually happen?

Life most certainly happens offline. I loved the approval, the ‘likes’, the comments (even the rude ones), on the things I posted about. But the sudden urge to share good news with 500 of my closest friends is still there. What do I do now!?

Maybe…. I’ll just tell my best friends and my Mom. Or a co-worker. Or someone else I see every day. It’s more meaningful and your status update is only in someone’s immediate newsfeed, for what, an hour? It’s likely they’ll never even see your super awesome cool thing.

(BTW: Dana, Krol, Mom: I just made my last payment on my student loan that I’ve been paying for ten years. It’s done!)

So far, in 3 days I have:

- Started another painting

- Gave a long presentation in my Grad Class

- Bought tickets to Bret Michaels

- Got my taxes done

- Started a book to read on the train instead of looking at my phone

- Finally wrote a blog post

- Watched a bunch of movies I’ve been meaning to

- Discovered who Ronda Rousey is….and she has become my new idol.

More to come, but I’m starting to enjoy being FB Free.

Filed under: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Valentines, Shmalentines

Posted on February 13, 2013 by dezolutions

I’ve never hated Valentine’s day, attached or not. But it has been a particularly unlucky day for me each year. And partly because I forget it’s Valentine’s Day. And I do genuinely enjoy what it’s about (behind all the bad stuff). For me, Valentine’s day should be about spending it with people you love, doing the things you love doing together.

Here are just some of my favorite V-Day stories, because I’m an awful awful person:

- Last year, I spent my Valentine’s day single and my 19yr old cat died in my arms at the animal hospital. I cried for an eternity.

- Another year, I spent it crying in the back of the cab with a bouquet of ‘break up’ flowers and left overs from the restaurant where I was just dumped.

- I had another boyfriend surprise me and give me a tiny bunny that eventually grew into 20lb monster and tried to rape my cats. I had to give Princess Bunny Foo Foo Face away.

- I went to roller derby practice one year and completely forgot it was Valentine’s day and came home to a very pissed off and dressed up boyfriend waiting to surprise me and take me out to dinner. I paid for that one for months.

- Another year I went out to a very fancy dinner with a boyfriend and got food poisoning for the very first time. To date, it was the closest to death I have ever been.

This year for Valentine’s Day, I get to spend it as an assistant instructor at taekwondo class(woohoo) and fighting invisible spiders that try to eat me while I’m sleeping (that’s another story).

If you have any fantastically awful Valentine’s Day stories, I’d love to hear them.

Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: boyfriend, funny valentine, girlfriend, single, valentine's day | Leave a Comment »

Let’s delve, twenty twelve

Posted on January 2, 2013 by dezolutions

This is where I was a year ago…and here…and here. Oooof. Can’t forget this one. I went back and read all the 2012 entries. God damn!

My first few entries were about how 2012′s message should be “Maturity”. Well now that I lived it, it certainly rang true. Starting over from scratch, being 100% independent, survival tactics, trusting yourself and learning how to let people in.

I survived utter heartbreak. A car crash, dodged breast cancer, got into Grad school, found an apartment and learned how to live with 6 different roommates, loss of pets, help my mother post surgery, got my ass handed to me at TKD and rode the fence of quitting, said goodbye to my childhood home and most of my possessions, barely survived dating, took up a 2nd job, survived wedding season, ER visits.

The good stuff: went to a ton of amazing concerts, made so many new friends, tested for my black stripe and became an assistant instructor, love my roommates, did well in my first grad school course, found love again, got a new kitty – Scrappy Doo, did karaoke again (without much persuasion), watched my best friend get married, climbed a mountain, traveled a bit, found my favorite mac and cheese, finally did the Warrior Dash and just genuinely learned how cease every opportunity I could and taught myself how to be resourceful.

I can go on and on about how crazy my 2012 was, but it’s already been written.

So just enjoy these photos and stay tuned for 2013 posts coming soon.