- A whole bag of baby spinach
– Half a container of crimini mushrooms
– 2 tomatoes
– Half a vidalia onion
– 2oz. of soft goat cheese
– olive oil
- pinch of sugar
– 4 whole wheat tortillas

Step 1. Chop up onions, put with olive oil in pan, pinch of sugar and sautee till golden brown (10-15 minutes)

Step 2. Add mushrooms

Step 3. Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Step 4. Spread goat cheese over two tortillas and add tomato slices

Step 5. Once onions & mushrooms are done, set aside for a moment.

Step 6. Sautee entire bag of spinach till almost wilted. Then place everything over the tortillas

Step 7. Dodge Kittens

Step 8. I went ahead and added some reduced fat cheddar cheese on the top layer. Place plain tortilla on top.

Step 9. Throw it in the oven for about 15-20 minutes

Step 10. Cut into 4 pieces. One serving is one quesadilla.

Nutrional Info: (without reduced fat cheddar)
Calories: 337
Protein: 13
Carb: 38
Fat: 15
Sat Fat: 6
Fiber: 7

So in a couple of weeks, I will be moving in with two of the greatest gals I know. And their two awesome pups!

The view isn’t too terrible either.

There will be some more updates and photos once I get situated. It’s in a wonderful area in the city. Also, I finally have an exposed brick wall. Swoon. I am so giddy, I am very excited this is happening.

Big things for 2012…..

And can we just talk about this stud muffin for a minute? I’m not really into drooling over dudes, but I couldn’t stop staring at him. His bum was from heaven. True story. He played Fred Casely and a few other characters that I forgot about because he was too distracting. You hot b*stard you….

Day 5. Open the book. Pour a glass of wine. Read first 10 pages, give up,  drink the rest of the bottle and go to bed.

Day 6. Open the book again. Pour a glass of Redbull. Stay up till forever.

Day 7. Wake up. Forget everything you just read. Re-read again. Continue to do so on every lunch break till you take the test.

Day 10. Use book as make-up mirror stand.

Day 11. Finally remember it came with a CD and prepare for the practice test.

Day 12. Not ready for practice test. Read the rest of The Hunger Games.

Day 15.  Swear off all social events for a month till you have to test.

Day 16. Go out 4 nights a week.

Day 20. Ask friends who have taken the test. “Oh I didn’t study at all, and I did great!”  Not convinced…. go back and study for realsies.

Day 21. Practice test for 4 hours. Like a BOSS.

Day 30. Read the book every day. Practiced all the exams. And now, you feel like a completely moron. Second guess every decision you have ever made in your entire life. How have you not set yourself on fire from sheer stupidity? You’re lucky to have survived 28 years you dumbass.

Day 31. Try and find your college algebra notebook. You do not remember what a unit integer is. Also, look for your 3rd grade math book. You do not remember how to do long division by hand.

Day 35.  Google every single word in the Verbal Reasoning practice test. Promise to use words in a sentence the next day.

Day 36. Your friend punches you for saying “ In my scrobiculate view that the country’s problems had been ameliorated by foreign technocrats”.

Day 40. Text comprehension makes you doubt every email you get. Does City Sport  REALLY have a 20% off sale tomorrow, or does City Sport mean without the dependency of consumerism via technology, the level of mediocrity of time versus montary value is subjective to you by means of supply and demand. Stop by liquor store and get another bottle of wine.

Day 45. Take practice test one more time. Throw up.

Day 50. D- DAY. Checking into testing center is the equivalent of visiting your brother in jail, if your brothers cell ALSO happens to be in an airport. Lock all items in locker. Fill out 100 pages of confidentiality agreements. Get a full metal detector scan. Have your photo taken. Finger printed. Escorted to and from bathroom. Chapstick not allowed. ID and locker key only. Now that you’re nice and stressed out, be escorted to your cell.

Put on giant airplane runway headphones for quiet time, and begin test. Take 3 sections of test for 3  hours. Break for only TEN minutes. Resume other two hours of test. Sweat. Become faint. Think you might have made a mistake and selected a foreign language for your test because you have no idea what these words mean.

Relax. Math is coming.

Just kidding. Answer math problems that have up to 6 POSSIBLE answers (not choices….ANSWERS). Day dream about when you were the 4th grade Multiplication Tables Champion for two weeks in a row…man, that was a good year. I had ribbons and shit, I used to love watching the… WHOOPS. Times up. Next Section. O_O

Get your scores, even though you don’t know what they mean yet. Finish test and stumble out of testing center like you just ran the marathon. Float on a cloud of accomplishment, like nothing can stop you and you’re the most brilliant person on the planet and no one could ever be as great as you were today in that testing center!!!

Go home and look up percentiles of your scores. Ha-Ha…. you’re average.

Doesn’t matter. You just completed your full Graduate Application.  Celebrate. (IE: get sick for the long weekend)

Forgot to put down what schools were supposed to received your scores.

Derp.

I didn’t leave proud. I left angry at myself and disappointed with how out of shape I was. It took weeks and many people to convince me that these people I trained with, were beyond a caliber I had ever trained with before and the fact I got to spar with them for a day proved I had some cajones. It was humbling to say the least. But I was in a weird head space about TKD for a while. I cried a lot. During and after each practice I went to from January to March. It really got to me. But they were an amazing group of athletes and I was lucky to have the opportunity.

How was I to overcome this head space?? I talked to a few people I look up to in my dojang, and they inspired me. So I was ready to take on the test. I practiced at home. I practiced at the dojang, I stayed after for help. But there was just something I wasn’t grasping and I felt it. I took tips from instructors, I stayed for extra classes for stamina. But taking the steps to be allowed to test, was pretty brutal for me to handle. I was having personal issues outside the dojang, and I had a feeling I was bringing them in. I was still upset about my crushed spirit from the NYC seminar and I knew it was just a mental game I was playing with myself. I felt as if I was being singled out(even though I KNOW that wasn’t true). I couldn’t get over this hurdle.

And two weeks before the test, I rolled my ankle. Great. An injury. Exactly what I needed. It made practicing that much harder.

Test day came, and it wasn’t my strongest. I wasn’t proud of it and I got some criticism (which is always welcomed) after the test and just knowing you didn’t do your best and being called out on it, oooooooh weeeeee. That is a tough pill to swallow. I could’ve kicked myself for every practice I couldn’t focus and for every spare moment I didn’t take advantage of . I did pass. I did well enough. But not well enough to get over this mental hurdle.

I also hurt myself during the test.

Yup, that is just a big swollen ankle. And the shin bruise above it turned into a giant hematoma. I went to one more practice after with the injury, thinking it was just a dinger. One of my instructors actually took me to the ER at the next practice to make sure I didn’t break anything.  Luckily, nothing broken. But just a bad sprain and a big ole painful lump that made it difficult and uncomfortable to walk. But I should rest for at least two weeks.

That’s probably one of the worst things to be told for an athlete. Rest. It’s a terrifying word. After I thought I was ready to jump over this hurdle, and get a head start on practicing on my Red Belt test… I get injured. I have only been to practice once in over a month, and I’m dying. I’ve gained weight. I’ve gotten jiggly and I can already see my stamina and flexibility decrease. And I hate it. I hate it more than crying in the locker room during the seminar. Or crying in my car after a hard practice. Or crying in the morning because I can barely stand on my feet.

I’ve never believed that things happen for a reason. Things happen because shit happens. But, what you CAN control, is how you choose to perceive your bad luck. Even though I needed so desperately to get over my mental hurdle, perhaps this physical hurdle is a “blessing”. It’s amazing once you lose something, you realize how much you really need it (that pertains to many many things). Without full use of my body, I feel like my head is ready to push my body. To heal, to get better, to get stronger.

However, I do believe anything worth having is worth fighting (hard) for. And that is what I plan on doing. I will use this lesson to do the same in other areas of my life. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I guess that will be a later post. My first tournament for the year is June 9th and my Red Belt test is June 23rd.

I was ready to go back to class yesterday. But of course, I got completely sick and can barely breathe and my whole body aches. I thought, ‘maybe thursday’? But no, I woke up this morning and I pulled my neck getting DRESSED.  At this rate, I’ll be lucky if I can even stand on two feet by June.

Can I do this? :/

You always think things are impossible in the beginning, it is just fear running its course. You have no idea what is waiting for you. Believe it or not, most of the time its usually something better. As long as you keep your head on straight.

I will be honest, my head was not on straight the entire year, I fell down a bunch. But I got back up. I fell down some more, and just lied there. I wanted to just lay there forever and hope life just passes me by and wouldn’t bother me ever again. What a sad concept. It wasn’t a light bulb that flashes in your mind, or you don’t wake up one day ready to take on the world. It really is just one day at a time and little by little, sometimes at a glacial pace, it gets better. YOU get better. Situations don’t get better, so don’t ever assume your happiness is dependent on the outcome of something you can’t control. The only thing you can control, is how you feel about the shitty situtation you’re in.

How do you do that? You suck it up and you DO it. You need to remember you deserve to be happy, because your happiness is contagious. Help others. Anyone. A selfless act is never selfless, but lending an ear to a friend in need, joining a charity fundraiser, tutoring a child. It makes you feel like you’re needed and wanted.

Friends will save your life. My friends, oh my friends. You bring a tear to my eye remembering this past year and how without you, I would still be laying down waiting for life to pass me. Never underestimate the power of a phone call or dinner out with a good friend. They are your arm floaties so you don’t drown.

Don’t ignore your situations either. Bottling up emotions is just a ticking time bomb. There were so many times I cancelled doctors appointments just so I wouldn’t have to hear what else was wrong and how much it’s going to cost. Tackle that head on and get it over with. Looming fear is just as bad, or worse than actually solving the problem.

Moving sucks. I did not like options, but it was all I had. So I had to do what I had to do. If you stop obsessing about what you want and work with what you have, it is amazing how relieved you feel.

One year ago, I thought I was at the end of my rope. I had dreams and goals but they were buried so deep in my own sadness they were but a distant memory. Allow yourself to mourn your previous life, not too long, but it’s good for you. Then take life by the balls and give it hell.

In one year, I found an amazing new job that I love. I tested multiple times for my belts and I am looking to test for my red belt in two months. I found a new apartment with friends in a great area with two dogs! I connected with new friends, I strengthened my bonds with others. And today, April 14th, I am taking my GREs to finish the final part of my application to a Masters program. One year ago today I was crying into boxes and today I am taking a 5 hour test to get me into Grad school. Wow.

Don’t ever assume you will feel in despair forever. Unfortunately, it seems like 2012 is the year of break ups, so I’m sure this is relevant to many of you. I’m definitely not saying I’m healed, but keep the faith that you are so much stronger than you think. Stay focused and breathe. Do something to make yourself proud in a year from now.

I did. And it feels f*cking awesome.

Now look at this guy.

I want to share the Yelp Deal with you guys, so you can take advantage of trying this class. (Just click on the photo to direct you)

If you don’t believe me, I wrote this post two years ago when I was in the beginning of my ‘Get Fit’ journey. Honest reviews and clearly, I still feel the same way about how amazing it is.

And another post to show you my AB progress (woot woot!) thanks to this class.

What do you have to lose, just do something different!

<3

Live music is a reminder to be aware of other senses. We use our sight (god willing), we use our hearing (usually plugged into ear buds), we use our touch (and douse in Purell), we use our taste (to eat what we have to, not what we want), we smell (to make sure we aren’t putrid mostly).  But think about daily lives, I stare blankly on my commute and glaze over advertisements that take up space in my memory. Listen to my ipod so I don’t have to hear other peoples miserable complaints.

The point is, most of our time is spent blocking our senses from something unpleasant. Concerts and live shows you use ALL your senses and get lost in exactly what you want. Where else do you get to do that? Nature, I suppose. I pay good money to remember that I’m human.

Obviously, to hear live music leaves many other experiences in the dust. Tell me you haven’t had your stomach drop once the wall of bass hits you. Or singing along with one of your favorite bands, who is standing mere feet away from you , isn’t the best feeling.

So this year, I’m going a lil crazy. I’ve had to turn down many shows or didn’t go because I didn’t have someone to go with.  I got into a lot of smaller bands and in some twist of fate they all happen to be touring Boston at the same time. So… now I am finally getting to see all the bands I love.  So these are my tickets so far:

Feb 23rd, MONA. Brighton Music Hall, God I love these guys. I seen them open for Airborne Toxic Event a couple months ago. Fan forever now!

Mar 7th, The Black Keys. TD BANK NORTH, I’ve waited YEARS to see them. And they dropped a new album this year *squeal*

Mar 26th, Band of Skulls. The Paradise,  Dirty old school rock. Me likey. This video is rad btw.

Mar 29th, Gotye. House of Blues, Reminds me of a hipster Peter Gabriel with multiple instruments. I’m addicted.

Apr 17th, Local H. Brighton Music Hall, 90′s grunge. Their first single taught me what ‘copacetic’ meant. I was 13.

Apr, 26th. Boxer Rebellion. Brighton Music Hall, Yes, I will admit I didn’t know them until I watched the movie Going The Distance, but I am super happy to find out who they are. They’re haunting and sexy. Certainly taps into that mysterious side that every girls desires.

So as you can tell, I’m pretty excited to start seeing some bands. With the exception of the Black Keys, all these shows were under $20 a ticket. So get out there! Report back. Any shows I should go see?

I went here for the original recipe. I was lazy and didn’t make my own frosting. Last time I tried, it came out like syrup. Frosting fail. So I just got butter cream frosting in a can, and it was delicious. Don’t judge me.

Here’s whatchu need:

3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1 oz red food coloring (or a scant 2 tbsp)
2 tsp pure vanilla extract, divided
1/2 cup (8 tbsp) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
2 large eggs, at room temperature
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  Butter and flour an 8″x8″ baking pan.

In a small bowl, slowly stir together the cocoa powder, food coloring, and 1 tsp vanilla into a thick paste until no lumps of cocoa remain. Set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat together the butter and sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes.  Add eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition, then stir in the remaining 1 tsp of vanilla.

With the mixer off, add in the cocoa mixture, then turn the mixer to medium and beat the two mixtures together until they are one uniform color.  Slowly add in the flour and salt and mix on medium-low speed, just until combined.  Do not overmix.

Remove the bowl from the mixer and stir up the batter with a rubber spatula once or twice just to ensure all of the flour has incorporated from the sides of the bowl and there isn’t anything stuck on the bottom of the bowl.  You’ll want one uniformly colored (red) batter.

Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for 30-40 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean when inserted into the center of the brownies.  Allow brownies to completely cool in the pan on a baking rack, about 45-60 minutes.  Frost brownies in the pan, cut into 12 bars, and serve, or remove the entire batch from the pan to a cutting board, cut into 12 bars, frost, and serve.

Tips: Cut brownies when warm, to avoid cracking. Frost brownies when cooled. Don’t stay in the kitchen with said brownies cause you will pick them apart and eat it and try to cover it with frosting.

Part of the reason why I love living in a city is soaking up the culture. I want to meet people and understand why they love what they love and see if I could understand and appreciate the mystery as well.

I never really went through a “gothic” phase. Sure I had piercings all over my face and dressed in black sometimes, but I wouldn’t consider myself punk/gothic/industrial etc. I was more confused than anything else.  But do you see what I mean about looking at  just the surface stuff. You hear the word gothic in terms of scene kid status and you think black make-up, black clothes, death music etc… but there is a lot more to it.

I had the pleasure of attending Ceremony, an industrial dance club here in Boston, with my wonderful brother his lovely girlfriend and her friends. And I had a GREAT time!

darkwellstudios.com

This is inside Ceremony on Halloween, I was not there but wanted to show you the kind of vibe.

Ceremony is every Monday night and each week there is a different type of music. I went to Down with Tempo which was very slow and sexy. It wasn’t crowded, so people had room to actually…get this… DANCE.  I loved how the dress code was strict (all black) but allowed for variations of expressions (velvet skirts, corsets, wigs etc). The music was melodic and it was easy to give way to swaying and moving your hips.

This wasn’t like other dances clubs (looking at you Liquor Store) where just dancing was an invitation to strangers to come up behind you and hump you. No one touched me. No one was inappropriate. It was respectful and people came there to socialize with what looks like family, and enjoy the music in a safe place where this type of expression and lifestyle was all for them to enjoy. But these are strong people, they aren’t crying about being teased. They are full on embracing the lifestyle they want and that is far more impressive than some of sheeple I’ve seen lately. It’s hard to not fall into a trance by the experience. Where the bass is low and loud and everyone is just dancing and doing their own thing. It was a needed vacation from following the norm even just for a few hours. And wouldn’t you know… I ran into someone I knew, a good friend actually, someone I wouldn’t picture who would love this type of club….

…it’s easy to judge. So take the hard way to learn about something. Shut up and go try it!

 Next on the agenda, belly dancing! Something very intoxicating! I have always been fascinated by it. I don’t know much about it, but I”m excited to learn. I went to The Middle East in Central Square Cambridge on Sunday nights where they have host belly dancers each week and welcome new comers (do I hear my calling??). They were all so beautiful and moved their bodies with great isolation and fluidity and strength. I don’t know much about the culture, but I’m thinking about taking a class and just going for it! [photo source] 

Chinese New Year

I am lucky enough to have many Chinese friends.  I never got to partake in any Chinese New Year celebrations, so this was my year!  I headed to Chinatown to Hei La Moon to enjoy some dimsum, little did I know they only serve it for brunch so we enjoyed some Tsingtao (brand of beer) and some rice, beef, chicken and veggies! YUM!

This is the Year of the Dragon, which is deemed the luckiest animal on the zodiac. Chinese consider that the dragon is unpredictable, untouchable and people cannot see its head and tail at the same time. Therefore, we might see something unexpected in 2012.

One of the customs is giving hóngbāo , or red envelopes during holidays and special occasions. It is usually given from the older adults to the younger children.

I’m excited to see what else I can learn about around my city. Three different walks of life in a two months, not too shabby!

Next up: Red Velvet Brownie Recipe

(And, brownie color brownies….. :/ )